So my partner Dan, has been great at not only pushing me and expecting nothing short of excellence from me but has also brought some great fundamentals to this game.

Yesterday he challenged me with coming up with my (clear & concise) purpose statement for this game:

To be Highly Organized, Efficient, Timely, and Present.

Well had a rough and tumble day yesterday. I let myself get completely stressed by my mounting to do list and my motivation to eat well and live at my highest potential completely disappeared.

I filled the void with 2 chicken sandwiches and 2 double cheeseburgers. Went to Tango class and my partner said I didn't feel like usual but rather stiff and rigid. Interestingly, I did not really feel a difference, perhaps I did not feel at all. Later, I continued my binge with potato chips, buttery toast, and rice crispies cereal with milk, and a biscotti to top it off. All the things I am supposed to not eat - I indulged. Perhaps delicious, yet shortsighted and not on my path to my ultimate goal.

One major insight I had today is that I am focusing way too much time on small projects because I am subconsciously avoiding the major opportunities. Why am I doing this? There are self-doubts and buried fears that are manifesting and sabotaging my growth. I am scared to let the big clients down if I fall short and therefore focus on the small peanut clients which provide me the least compensation and reward for my time.

My partner Dan, assigned me with the consequence of journaling about how this attitude and way of prioritizing my time is affecting my business. I will complete this task later today.

Time to rebound.

Here is a great poem by Theodore Roosevelt called the "Man in the Arena"

The Man In the Arena
by Theodore Roosevelt
(From a speech delivered in Paris in 1910)

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out
how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds
could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who
is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust
and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and
comes short again and again; who knows the great
enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a
worthy cause; who at the best, knows in the end the
triumph of high achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails,
at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall
never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither
victory or defeat.

So I have read about the Pareto Principle or 80/20 Principle many times. However, as I grow I am realizing that it holds perhaps more validity and practicality than what I once thought.

It is true that 80% of my income is coming from 20% or less of my clients. However, instead of focusing 80% of my time on these clients it is almost the opposite. I am spending 80% of my time focusing on small fish. In the past 6 months, I have lost a significant amount of monthly revenue from one of my major clients because I did not focus enough time and energy on them. Perhaps about $20-30K annually of lost work. Furthermore, what really hurts is the lost credibility, this client gave me the initial opportunity and it was only mine to lose.

Additionally, I have strayed away from some big opportunities and subconsciously moved in the direction of the safe and predictable. For example, earlier this week, I met with a prospect, that I knew going in was going to be a minor minor project and spent 4 hours with them. A tremendous amount of time, when I am literally DAYS backed up in commitments!! What am I thinking? What spawns this action and decision making in myself. I have clients that are generating MILLIONS of dollars in sales and I am spending 4 hours for a 1-2K project.

Well the lesson is now crystal clear, but the question now surfaces: What to do about this? Do I just turn away the small projects? That brings up another issue I have. The Inability to say NO!

If anyone has any suggestions or feedback for me would love to here them.

Thanks True Alies

Had a bounce back day yesterday. Super productive at Work and now feel I can get caught up by weeks end if I focus and get alot accomplished today and tomorrow. Had a good workout and ate well yesterday. Did 10 rounds of (10 Pull ups + 10 Ring Dips) in 13:48. Definitely getting stronger and hopefully will be fit enough to compete in Rectionals and qualify for the CrossFit Games later this year.

Time to focus on the 80% and have a killer day!

Well I have slipped into inconsistency. Overwhelmed by work I have slipped into the poor habits I have been trying to avoid. Not journaling consistently is one, falling still and being present is another. Also, shutting down under pressure and conflict avoiding has been recurring lately in my personal relationships.

So what is my purpose? Should my purpose truly be:

To be Highly Organized, Efficient, Timely, and Present.

What about fun, happiness, and enjoyment? Should these be included in my purpose. I have been reading the Way of the Superior Man in chunks and today I jumped to the first chapter which is basically about not waiting for anything to change.

Stop Hoping for a Completion of Anything in Life

"Most men make the error of thinking that one day it will be done. They think, "If I can work enough, then one day I could rest." Or, "One day my woman will understand something and then she will stop complaining." Or, "I'm only doing this now so that one day I can do what I really want with my life." The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way. They won't. It never ends. As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to tussle, play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift."

So what do I want in my life? What am I really truly working for? Well I know I want more freedom, financial freedom to travel and play and not have to work all the time but at the same time I never want to stop working because I love that too. I want to be able to live in Italy or France or Rio, Brazil. How do I accomplish this now? I want to maintain my body like a fine tuned Ferrari and elevate my spirit to new levels of patience, understanding, playfulness, and presence.

My partner and I missed our first call yesterday. He had a schedule conflict that he let me know about and then called me later in the day when I was buried in work and then too busy to call him back. But was I really too busy, why is it so hard to break away for a few minutes and accomplish this seemingly effortless task?

My partner Dan gave me a consequence to do on Tuesday which involved thinking about how many inboxes I have in my life.

Well I have my: 1) email, 2) voicemail, 3) office phone, 4) snail mail, 5) and in person requests. However, I also have my 6) mind dump list, 7) outlook calendar, 8) Whiteboard, 9) Pile of papers on my desk. Maybe some more that I have missed here but I think this is probably it. The goal in GTD is to take down the number of inboxes in your life to the least amount possible.

Tomorrow is our monthly team meeting and I will discuss with my team mates how to best accomplish this.

Time to have a great day.

So another issue that I failed to mention in my last journal entry is my diet. My diet has slipped tremendously and I have been eating cookies, bread, pasta, cereal with milk, and coffee with milk almost every day this week. People keep asking me if I am sick because I am sneezing and completely congested in my nasal passages. This morning in Yoga I could barely breath through my left nostril and when I did my 10 minute head stand I was breathing through my mouth more than 75% of the time.

Am I actually sick or are my bodily tissues completely inflamed from the sugar, milk, and breads that I almost completely restricted from my diet for more than 2-3 weeks? I certainly do not feel sick. However, my mind is clouded and my nose and throat filled with mucus.

Anyways, for this reason, not journaling consistently, and missing our partner call I had a failure. My consequence is to determine a process for all my inboxes.

Here is a list of all my inboxes and the processes I will use to maintain all of them:

1) email - check several times per day - move into Mind Dump
2) voicemail - check every morning - move into Mind Dump
3) office phone - check every morning - move into Mind Dump
4) snail mail - check daily - move into mind Dump
5) in person requests - move into Mind Dump
6) Whiteboard items - move into Mind Dump
7) Pile of papers on my desk - anything important move into Mind Dump, the rest trash or file away
8) Mind Dump - Do, Delegate, or File Away - anything with a deadline I move into Calendar adding all Projects to GTD Outlook system.
9) Calendar - check daily

Tomorrow in my meeting I will work on how I can possibly streamline any of these or completely remove them from my life.